Being a first generation Indian-American, immigration hits a personal cord in me.  My parents were immigrants, and migrated from India for a better quality of life.  People have migrated since the dawn of time, by foot, by wagon, by car, or by plane. Being born into this world is our passport to the planet, and it is our human right to explore this earth.  But many people fear new people in their “neighborhood.”  They see people that are different from them in certain respects, and soon their fear turns to hate.  This is what has led to the climate of anger in regards to immigration in the U.S.  But this is not a new story.  It has gone on for centuries.  People fight over borders that they arbitrarily assign, with these borders ever shifting, depending on who is in power.  Even the land I live on and call home is stolen land; rewritten borders.  Sadly we are still blinded by social forces such as media to condone this hate, despite our access to information.  We are manipulated to feel that racism and xenophobia are acceptable.  But it’s time to confront this acceptance of hate.  It’s time to stop labeling any human being as “illegal.”  Many have joined the movement to remove this word from their vocabulary, and give hope to the end of this hate-word.

TAKE THE PLEDGE AND DROP THE “I” WORD:

“I will not call any human being "illegal." The racially charged slur and related terms confuse the immigration debate, fuel violence and don’t reflect my values. I join communities nationwide in challenging all media to do the same. “

Please take a moment to sign the pledge and spread the word.  Visit the “Why Drop the I-Word? FAQ” page on Colorlines to get ideas on how to start a conversation with friends on this topic.  Help make our world a more accepting place.

As a Hindu I have been spending my life trying to find my dharma. For those not familiar with the concept, read the following description.  Keep in mind that dharma is a complex concept that is hard to sum up into a single definition.  Through the practice and understanding of spirituality, one can start to understand dharma in full detail:

"Dharma is one of the most important themes within Hinduism. One often sees dharma translated as religion, duty, or even righteousness, but in fact, there is no single direct translation for dharma. Religion, duty and righteousness are not wrong; they are simply included within the idea of dharma. The word "dharma" comes from the Sanskrit root dhri, meaning to "uphold" or to "sustain." From this perspective, the best way to think of dharma is to say, "that which upholds or sustains the positive order of things: the nation, the community, the family and ultimately even the universe." At a social level, every individual has a particular dharma according to their place in life."

www.sanscrit.org

Dharma can be understood as one’s purpose in life at this moment of their existence.  Dharma is that which fulfills one’s soul and fulfills their duty in the universe.  Other spiritual practices such as Christianity describe this concept as a “vocational calling.”  Whatever way it is described, we can all relate to the idea of trying to find what we are meant to do on this earth.  One of the reasons I started blogging was to find my purpose, hence my blog’s name.  And through blogging, writing poetry, and journaling, I have come closer to discovering it.  My lifelong relationship with my spirituality has been another pivotal source of guidance.  Through prayer and meditation I search my soul to find what will fulfill me.

Being a person who has many interests, I sometimes struggle to know which path I am truly meant to take.  But under all my goals and dreams, there has always been something calling deep inside.  This force has led me to have a constant passion for changing the world.  As long as I can remember, I always wanted to be an activist (even before I knew what the word meant).  I realized this was not a path to monetary riches, but there was another type of richness I gained from helping.  It is a joy that is activated when I feel as if I have added to the positive of the world.  It’s a high that is essential to my self-preservation.  Because I realize that my desire to be a humanitarian, an activist, a voice of change gives me so much.  Yet people think I am completely selfless in my choice to help.  But I realize I am not.  It is what I am meant to do, and therefore if I don’t, I will not be fulfilled.  So part of my reason to help is “selfish” so to say.  It is a need I have…my dharma.  It is what “upholds” and “sustains” me as a person.  My need to help is not just to be a good person.  I realized that is not enough of a reason alone.  Because when things get hard, it will be tough to stay on my path if it’s not my passion and purpose.   I will also be doing a disservice to others by not being true to what makes me happy.  Because finding our purpose has less to do with being “good” and more to do with being “true.”  I understand more now than ever that we cannot fight who we are, and we cannot judge ourselves based on what others are doing.

Accepting this has been a lifelong struggle.  At times it’s hard to filter out the other influencers aside from my spirituality.  Loved ones, society, media, culture, and beyond pull me in different directions, making it hard to know how I am best meant to live out my existence.  But I see now we all serve a certain need in the universe.  The need of the painter is just as important as the need for the president.  All paths have the same value because they serve a unique purpose.  Whether our purpose is to be the best entrepreneur, artist, activist, spiritual leader, parent, or beyond we must believe in our purpose and not let anything stand in our way.  We also must accept that our purpose is fluid and can change over the course of our life.  Spending time in deep reflection has helped me to tune out the noise and listen to the call of my dharma.

I’ll leave you with this link to a great piece of writing on the topic of dharma.  Take a moment to read it, and I think you’ll find a deeper understanding of the concept.  Spend some time reflecting on your life and what path has been calling you.  Try to push away the distractions and find peace so you can hear the message the universe is sending you.  Please share your personal journey in the comments section.

http://www.spiritual-happiness.com/sfdexcerpt-deepcalling.html

http://tinyurl.com/3va47fw

Psychology Today recently published, then retracted an article entitled, “Why Are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women.”  The website seemed to be using racism and sexism in order to attract attention.  Clearly they got it, after all I am sitting here writing a post about them.  Such happenings do need attention, but not for the marketers’ intended reasons.  It needs attention so we can remember how dangerous such mainstream media sources can be.  Such outlets spend a great deal of time driving viewership through sensationalized or downright false information.  And it seems that the author of the article, Satoshi Kanazawa, is a fan of spreading false information (aka “junk science”).  For any individual who has an awareness of racism and sexism, the title alone sets off rage.  You know this is an article full of pure bullshit in order to backup the commonsense beliefs of bigots.  The scary thing is that there are people out there who want to believe such concepts, such as Mr. Kanazawa and his readers who support him.  Stereotypes are lies created by fear and ignorance.  When publications that are supposedly educated attempt to verify prejudice through science, they cease to have credibility.  Despite the fact that the article was removed soon after an online outcry, it wasn’t fast enough to avoid damage.  The words were out there and met the eyes of many, from the racists and sexists who condone such thoughts to the black women who had to read it and realize the only ugly thing was Kanazawa’s thoughts.  The article (or the reaction to it) showed the strength that people have when they say “fuck you” to hate speech, to racists, to misogynists, to sexists, to xenophobes.  But even as I try to look at the positive of the situation, I know that I can’t erase the pain that many individuals felt when they read the article.  I know how I have felt in the past, being judged by others for being female and of color.  I remember letting racist and sexist comments break down my self-esteem.  I remember letting many people tell me the definition of beauty and obscure my subjectivity.  I remember finally getting that, that was just it – beauty is subjective…only measured through my eyes.  And from there I started healing my esteem and learning to be happy with me…brown, female, and all.

One major point I want to make is about the concept of statistical significance.  As a sociologist by training, I get upset when I see statistics being used to support a flawed hypothesis.  Kanazawa’s scientific conclusions are something we have seen since the subject of science was studied.  In a patriarchal world, where men outnumber women in most fields, including science, it’s not surprising to find studies like this.  The majority of science as a whole comes from a white, hetero-male’s point of view (aka “Western standards”), and therefore science reflects this bias.  Therefore we find researchers publishing findings that have no significance, but support a biased belief that works better for marketing purposes.  An article published in the “Journal of Theoretical Biology” explains the flaws of statistical significance eloquently:

“…another problem is the confusing connection between statistical significance and sample size. It is well known that, with a large enough sample size, one can just about always find statistical significant, if small, effects. But it is not so well realized that, when effects truly are small, there is little point in trying to find them with underpowered studies.”

The paper goes on to explain the flaws in findings such as Kanazawa’s previous research.  The take home point is to always check the validity of statistics and hypotheses, and to never blindly believe supposed correlations.  That way when you see a “shock-factor” title for an article such as Kanazawa’s you don’t waste your time absorbing lies.  In the age of sensationalism, statistics are skewed to meet planned agendas.  Don’t get lost in the notions of numbers.

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2140

Finally, I hope readers take time to reflect on the concept of beauty.  Humans spend a great deal of time concerned about how they appear to others.  Think you’re above it?  Well if you’re human you’re not.  Just think about choices such as picking out clothing to wear, deciding how to cut your hair, picking a job, or even buying a vehicle.  Such processes involve a moment of decision where we imagine how these things represent us.  There is no “right/ wrong” or “good/ bad” choice, until we add our subjective beliefs.  Just as we are judged by the clothes we wear, we are judged by the face and body we happen to have.  As a personal exercise, spend the next week observing how you judge others physically.  Next reflect how you judge yourself.  See any similarities?  A wise friend once told me that we are all about ourselves.  Many times when we find ourselves judging others harshly on their looks, it may be because we judge ourselves that hard as well.  Our reactions to others can be an extension of our reactions to ourselves.  After doing this exercise, journal about your experience and see if your notion of beauty has changed.  Realize that beauty is a social construction, influenced by your own view and society’s.  In many ways, the concept of beauty is exploited to control people’s choices.  We see this when a person cuts into their body to change its shape, objectifies another and breaks them into desired “types” and “parts”, or believes pre-conceived notions based solely on physical attributes.  In the end, beauty is a meaningless term when applied to physicality, because there can never be a definition for that which is completely subjective.  We are all “beautiful” and “ugly” because any one individual can subjectively feel that way about us.  All the scientific brainwashing in the world won’t change that.  So let’s not just say “fuck you” to racism and sexism, but also to the concept of beauty as a whole.  Accept that you are exactly the way you are supposed to be…by the laws of nature, by the laws of the powers that be, by the laws of reality.  Your uniqueness is your attraction.

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=659

Want to give Psychology Today a piece of your mind?  Contact them here.  Each person who speaks up against false beliefs strengthens the cause for equality…let your voice be heard.

Photos by Preeti Pathak

The idea of the “broken home” has been in my mind of late.  In a recent conversation with my friend, Michele, we discussed the fact that so many of us have faced trauma in our past.  In the first conversations when we get to know someone we all ask the same general things.  We find out where the person lives, where they grew up, what they do with their time, and how their family is.  For some those questions are easy to answer, while for others it opens up some saddening truths.  For a long time I would tell people what they wanted to hear, ashamed of my past and the fact that I came from a “broken home.”  But once I learned to love myself, including my story, I no longer felt this shame.  Once I understood that I could take ownership of my story, I didn’t care what others would think.  Though my honesty at times makes others uncomfortable.  Many people prefer the lie…that my life is perfect and my family is a Norman Rockwell painting come to life.  But then you also meet those people, who appreciate your honesty, and in turn share their own truth.  This is the exact type of conversation that I had with my friend Michele.  We realized that we had much in common…that our lives were never perfect.  But we also saw the amazing people we had become, despite our personal pain.

www.freedigitalphotos.net

The conversation got me thinking of how we all may face similar realities, but what we do with it is quite different.  Why is it that for some of us we learn to still practice empathy even when we weren’t raised with it…while others only learn animosity?  Why does violence turn some of us to pacifists, but others to perpetrators of further violence?  Psychologists, Sociologists, and other scientists have a million theories as to the why.  But there will never be a definitive answer.  All we know is that anger, whether turned inward or outward, causes more harm than gain.  What would the world be like if we could release our anger in a healthy way, deal with our trauma, and try to practice empathy always?  I do believe this dream could be a reality, but we have to first let go of our shame.  We have to open up and talk to one another about our true stories.  Only then can we mend the wounds and realize we are not alone.  I leave you with a poem that was inspired by the thoughts of the past few days.  Remember that you are never alone.  We are all connected by the energy of the universe, so reach out to the souls around you.

www.freedigitalphotos.net

Broken is Beautiful

Broken children, from broken homes…

left alone in their own world.

Imagination is unlimited,

when reality is so ill-fitted.

Drawing pictures of what’s not seen.

Learn to read the lines between…

anger, sadness, and happiness.

Predicting emotion equals protection.

Beaten down into a mold.

Robbed of the innocence of the soul.

Growing bigger everyday.

Until the trauma is just past pain.

Standing at the fork in the road.

Wondering which way the anger will go.

Some turn it in and hate themselves.

While others burn external flames.

Some hide inside their own dark cage.

While others spew out violent rage.

Destroying the self either way…

No difference in these two souls.

Both filled with charred and blackened holes.

If only they could see the light.

If only they give up the fight…

within the walls of themselves.

Release the stories they’d never tell.

Stop drawing lies to hide the pain.

Learn self-love is all it takes…

to stop letting one’s anger grow.

To stop life from meaning nothing more…

then broken homes, or hearts, or souls.

Must re-learn what broken means.

That perfection is not what it seems…

That no one is, no matter their past.

Trauma is temporary, despite memories that last.

Must let go of the way we see.

Look at the cracks as true beauty.

Pick up the pieces of broken past.

Glue them together; rebuild the mast.

Let all the anger wash away.

Let light enter your darkest days.

With each new thought your sails will fill,

with the energy of a thousand winds.

A new direction for the soul to go.

A chance to fix the many holes.

You’ll crash against the heavy waves.

But love will be your saving grace.

No waters too treacherous for you to cross.

SCTnow.org

Ok I know that title was corny but yes, like the Philly Phlash, I had to go there.  Now that we’ve had a laugh, let’s get on to more serious matters.  There is a hidden epidemic taking over our society.  It is the commodification of human life.  In a word: SLAVERY.

When I was a child, I remember hearing a quick run through about slavery around the world.  As an American, the focus of my education was on the slavery that took place in the U.S.  I remember the words in my Social Studies books.  They made slavery seem like a distant and archaic concept that no longer plagued our more civilized minds.  But as I grew older I realized slavery was alive and well; in fact that it had only gotten worse.  I learned that those who were enslaved in the past never received the resources they were robbed of.  I saw that slavery from the past destroyed the souls of many…pain that would be passed on to the next generation in the form of countless manipulations and wrongdoings.  I saw that slavery was occurring around the world in this present moment.  It was happening in my own city.  And I discovered that if this cycle did not end, slavery would continue on throughout the future.  Slavery is the product of many social problems.  There is no simple solution, and many steps and years will pass before we eradicate the epidemic altogether.  But the key to any of this happening is starting now.  Citizens must get educated on the realities of enslavement.  With the advancements of the 21st century, slavery has become an insidious reality in all locations around the world: human trafficking is the second largest criminal industry, right after arms dealing.  With the invention of the internet, slavery has potentially entered everyone’s home.  If you or anyone you have lived with has watched a porn online, surfed Craigslist, or such, you may have seen or read about a person who is currently enslaved.  When we start looking closer, we see how widespread this problem is.  But as all industries, someone is thriving off of it and working very hard to keep you from interfering with their greed.

That’s why citizens of Philadelphia are hitting the streets on Sunday, September 18th at 9:30 am for the “Stop Child Trafficking Now(SCTNow) Walk” 2011.  The walk will start and end at the Piazza at Schmidt’s, 1050 North Hancock Street.  We want to see the end of slavery and bring our energy together to do so.

This walk will be an opportunity to join like minds, make some new friends, and start a serious conversation about the next steps we must take as a community to end slavery/ trafficking.  I’m gonna get myself up early…well early for me that is…and hit the streets with my friend and phellow Philly blogger, Dianne Furphy of createwhatyouwant.wordpress.com.  We hope to see you there!  Please spread the word to your friends and get the conversation going even if you can’t make it to the walk.  You can also show your support by donating to the cause.

I’ll leave you with this quote from one of the strongest womyn around, and one of my role models:

“Human trafficking flourishes in the shadows and demands attention, commitment and passion from all of us. We are determined to build on our past success and advance progress in the weeks, months and years ahead. Together, we must hold a light to every corner of the globe and help build a world in which no one is enslaved.”

—–Hillary Rodham Clinton, U.S. Secretary of State

http://www.kartinya.com/

In the world of pop music it is rare to find the whole package: scintillating singer-songwriter, passionate performer, and beats that make you wanna move!  Kartinya Nicole embodies the pop icon to the fullest.  Her album “Who is Kartinya Nicole?” plays daily on my iPhone.  With my favorite songs such as “White Boys”, “Kill Em Dead”, and “Music” on repeat non-stop.

I was lucky enough to meet this amazing artist in a business course we had both enrolled in at the Women’s Business Development Center (WBDC).  As creative individuals who tend to live in the conceptual, we both needed a dose of entrepreneurial savvy to get our business plan down on paper.  The amazing team at WBDC in Philadelphia helped make our dreams a reality.  From that point on, Kartinya has become one of my good friends and a constant motivational force for my goals.  Being her friend has given me the opportunity to see the “behind the scenes” world of the music industry (very mind-opening for a sociologist such as myself).  I’ve also been privy to impromptu “unplugged vocals” straight from Kartinya herself…in my own backyard!  She sings from her soul, which matches the beauty of her voice.  It’s nice to meet a musical performer who is so down to earth, forthright, and carries themselves with integrity.

But enough about my brush with fame.  If you want the chance to see this dynamic pop star perform, check her out in concert on Thursday, September 1st, 7 pm, at Whispers Lounge (1712 Walnut St.).  She will be performing at the “Celebrities for Charity” event (part of “17 Days of Fashion”) which includes music, fashion, and a chance to raise money for children’s school supplies.  This exciting night is presented by Nbeauty Inc.  Click here to order your tickets before they sell out.  Want to be a VIP for the evening and show some extra support?  Then purchase one of the VIP tickets (already got mine yay)!

To stay updated on the latest news visit Kartinya.com.  Also join her on Facebook and MySpace.  Hope to see you at the show!

http://www.kartinya.com/

Love the artistic touches in this photo!  Go Kartinya Nicole, you rock…or should I say pop?

This is Cat Fish, Zombie Edition (thanks Tyler for the great name!)

“If you call one of us slut, you call all of us slut!”

From the dawn of time, females have been fighting to be recognized as fully human and deserving of equal rights to males.  Within this fight, women everywhere have been trying to end the concept of the “slut.”  Our patriarchal, misogynistic, and sexist world has decided that females need to be controlled.  One method of control is over our sexuality.  Girls are taught from day one that they are the “gatekeepers” of sexual activity and must prize this forced responsibility.  Boys are taught that they are to be the “pursuers” of sexual activity and must “conquer” girls sexually in order to be true men.  These social scripts fuck up both the sexes in the head.  It also creates double standards that make it harder for females and males to coexist.  Putting the burden of gatekeeper on women makes them victim to constant policing by society.  How we dress, how we act, where we go, and almost every other facet of our existence is judged.  And when girls and women are sexually assaulted, they aren’t seen as victims of a crime, but as criminals themselves.  And all these judgments lead down the same road: “was she, or wasn’t she a slut?”

And why?  Cause in a rape culture a “slut” deserves any violence that comes her way…because the culture says “she was asking for it.”  The reality makes my stomach cringe and my heart sink.  Individuals Such as Dan Rottenberg remind us that educated professionals are holding this view and spewing it throughout media outlets.

Since the word “slut” describes a social construct, it’s definition is constantly changing based on the subjectivity of the user of the label.  A female can be labeled a slut for all kinds of absurd and nonsensical reasons.  She could wear clothing that is deemed “revealing,” she could have what is considered too many male friends, she could be someone who enjoys parties and drugs such as alcohol, she could be someone who males say they had sex with even though it’s a lie, she could be someone who goes out at night.  In a word, she could be any of us.  But the label only gets applied when others feel the need to shame her.  Whether it’s her gossiping peers, former love interests, or the court system when she tries to bring her sexual assaulter to justice, the label hurts just the same.

On January 24th, 2011, females everywhere were reminded how far behind our world still is in giving us full human rights.  While giving a lecture to a law class at York University, a Toronto police officer stated that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized”.  This comment sparked the movement that is known as “SlutWalk” which spread from Canada to locations all over the world.  This protest has brought together people of all sexes, ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, and beliefs.  Everyone knows that something has to change in our world when 50% of the population is dehumanized simply because they have vaginas!  It’s timed to let go of entitled thinking that leads to notions like slut.  In my hometown of Philadelphia, women are rallying hard to pull off our own SlutWalk.

The protest will take place at 11 am on Saturday, August 6th at Kahn Park (11th & Pine Sts.).  Please check out the website and Facebook page for more information.  Below is the full protest route.

There are also many exciting events taking place when the protest arrives to Dilworth Plaza, including an amazing speaker lineup.  The goal is to make this protest a success and create energy that sparks a local revolution.  After the protest, keep up to date on ways to get further involved with the movement through the SlutWalk Philadelphia site.

The SlutWalk Philadelphia protest has been a group effort of several passionate activists.  We’re working hard to raise funds to cover the cost of this event.  If you have even a dollar to donate, we would greatly appreciate the support.  Fundraising will go towards stage equipment, audio/ visual, permit fees, speakers, printing costs, and such.  Click here to find out how you can donate online.  You’ll also get a chance to purchase pins and t-shirts at the protest (all profits will go toward event costs).  Thanks for all your support and we hope to see you at the protest!

Check out this awesome art at Atiya Ola’s (best vegan food in West Philly)!  the messages make the viewer stop and contemplate the implications of war, as well as the causes.

Please take some time to learn about Nicholas’ View; a new voice in the blogosphere…and my BFF:)

Most of the artwork in Atiya Ola’s is for sale.  If you see a piece you’re interested in, drop by the restaurant and talk to one of the friendly staff members.  And while you’re there buying art, try the vegan bacon.  At first bacon lovers may be skeptical (like I was).  But trust me, it will blow your mind.

Photo by Harish Pathak

The annual Philadelphia PrideDay LGBT Parade and Festival happens this Sunday, June 12th from 12 – 6 pm.  A map of the route is below.  For more details check out the Philly Pride website.

http://www.phillypride.org/events.php

Make sure to also check out the rainbow lights on the Ben Franklin Bridge, Saturday and Sunday!

Pride month is about fostering acceptance for LGBTQ individuals, that same way heterosexuals are accepted.  It’s a chance for us to stand up and show our true colors; the rainbows’ many shades.  We are blessed to be in a society where such events can occur peacefully for the most part.  But there is still a lot of fear/ hate we need to change.  A recent post on Feministing reminds us how some want us to stay hidden:

“…Florida Family Association has spend several thousand dollars to fly a plane over the theme park to warn visitors that The Gays are Coming.  Gay Day is actually not just one day, but a week-long event in Orlando around Pride Month that includes a day at Disney World on the first Saturday in June. As that Saturday just passed, so did the huge plane and banner that flew around the theme park on Friday, warning folks looking for a “normal day” at the Magical Kingdom that they’ll find the horror of past Gay Day"s…”

I was actually in Orlando over the Memorial Weekend holiday.  As I was riding along, I saw a large billboard promoting “Gay Day.”  I perked up as soon as I saw the sign.  I was happy to see that even local theme parks were catering to the LGBTQ community (even if just for our dollars).  What I saw as a heartwarming experience, groups such as the Florida Family Association saw as a great danger.  I look forward to being part of the festivities on Sunday even more after such moments.  It shows me the importance of standing with other like minds and reminding that world that we’re here…we’re “queer”…so get used to it already!